


behind the sea

by amemorymaze



Series: you're still a mystery [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Girl Direction, Summer, Summer Romance, or something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 11:41:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4099674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amemorymaze/pseuds/amemorymaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>She wants to fall in love with her completely, fully immersed as if underwater. She wants to drown in her; in her secrets, in her stories, in her touch and her kisses.</i>
</p><p>Or, the five times she almost falls in love and the one time she does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	behind the sea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justyrae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/gifts).



**one.**

It’s on a Tuesday that she meets Liam Payne.

It’s when the sun is setting in the distance and the air is warm around her as she waits for her family to come down for dinner. In acid-wash denim shorts and her old, black batman tee that she had cut up into a sleeveless crop top, Zayn sits on the edge of the pool with her feet in the cool water.

Tilting her head back, she soaks in the last of the sunlight and sighs. Her hair falls in cascades down her back, flowing slightly in the summer breeze. It’s so quiet around her with all the shouting, gleeful children gone and only the soft rustling of leaves and the quiet trickling of the water in the pool to be heard.

This is exactly what Zayn needed this summer - to be away from the nervousness that has been constantly twisting in her stomach for the past month; to forget about exams and results and new schools and the future. She needs this break from reality.

“Excuse me,” comes a slightly timid voice from behind Zayn before a shadow is falling over her profile, “I’m not trying to be a creep, but um, I really like your top.”

Zayn’s lips stretch into a grin and she tilts her body round so that she can look up at the girl behind her; “Thanks,” she says just as her eyes flicker upwards.

A girl, who she assumes to be around her own age, is standing there blocking the sun. She’s in a pretty white playsuit and a blue plaid shirt that’s thrown over the top with the sleeves rolled up. A silver pendant dangles from her neck; the letter L.

Zayn feels her breath catch in the throat and her heart start to speed up. “Made it myself.” The girl smiles, her eyes shining and Zayn tries to laugh off her nerves; “I mean - I didn’t _make_ it myself. I just - I cut it up myself?”

“Do you mind if I…?” The girls says, gesturing to the space next to Zayn, who nods enthusiastically. So she sits down, folding her legs underneath her body instead of dipping her feet in the water. She dips her head slightly, her brown, curled hair falling in front of her face. “I’m Liam.”

“Zayn,” she says, smiling softly as she watches the girl next to her with a curious gaze.

“So, you a DC girl then?” Liam says, grinning as she gestures to Zayn’s t-shirt.

“Well,” Zayn says, trying not to smile too widely. There’s a ridiculously cute girl sitting next to her with a plait in her hair asking her about comics, is the thing, and Zayn’s hopelessly enamoured and it’s barely been a few minutes. “I guess so? DC or Marvel; I love ‘em both.”

“Thank god,” Liam says, fiddling with the frayed, multicoloured friendship bracelet on her wrist; “I mean, me too. But I just saw The Avengers before we came out here and my best friend got fed up with me constantly talking about it and I need someone else to appreciate the film and not just how hot they all are.”

Zayn feels her heart fly in her chest at her words - at the ‘all’ - and she takes another glance at that rainbow bracelet on her wrist and just thinks; _fuck it._

Trying to stop herself from getting tongue twisted over her words, she takes a deep breath. “I mean, Scarlett is so hot in that outfit, but there’s _so_ much more to it.”

“I know right!” Liam says, looking up from her hands; “I _love_ the characterisation of her in it.”

“Right?” Zayn says and despite the way her heart is racing and her palms are sweaty, she smiles.

“Zayn,” a voice calls softly from the other side of the pool and she looks up from Liam’s gaze to find her mum looking over at her fondly; “Dinner?”

“I guess that’s my cue to go,” Zayn says and ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach, she pulls her legs from the pool water.

“I guess so,” Liam says, smiling; “I should probably find my own family anyway.”

Picking up her sandals laying next to her, Zayn gets to her feet; “‘m coming!” Before turning back to Liam who’s brushing down her playsuit.

“I - um, I’ll see you around, yeah?” Zayn says, trying (and failing) to stop the hope from leaking into her voice.

“Yeah,” Liam says, smiling shyly; “That would be nice.”

“Okay,” Zayn says, not making a move to leave.

“Okay,” Liam repeats, her smile turning into a grin, showing off all her teeth.

Zayn’s eyes flicker over to where her mum’s standing, “Um,” she mumbles, pointing over to her mum, “I’m gonna - I’m gonna go.”

“Yeah,” Liam says, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

Just before she turns on her heel, she mutters a quick; “See you, Liam,” her cheeks are flushed pink but her eyes are shining.

“She looked like a nice girl,” her mum says and Zayn just shrugs, twisting the ring on her finger and ignores the questioning look her mum shoots her way because, well, that’s a conversation for another day.

It’s on a Tuesday that she thinks to herself that maybe, just maybe she could fall in love with this girl. It’s on a Tuesday that she finds herself starstruck with butterflies in her stomach in wide eyed wonder.

It’s on a Tuesday that she meets Liam Payne.

 

**two.**

The knock comes at precisely eleven o’clock, when the sky is dark and the stars are twinkling above. In her nike blazers, black shorts and denim shirt, she’s tying up her head in a messy bun after debating whether or not to leave it down.

“Li,” she says, grinning as she opens the door to her hotel room. Liam’s clad in denim shorts and a thin, netted lilac jumper with a black bra underneath.

With a bottle of Malibu in her hand that clinks against her bracelets as she holds it up with a cheeky grin on her face, Liam says; “Ready?”

“Always,” Zayn says, sliding her keycard into her back pocket before shutting the door softly behind her.

Somewhere on their walk to the beach, Liam tangles her fingers with Zayn, swinging their hands between them as she talks about everything and nothing all at once. Zayn hanging onto every word she says.

They end up sitting on the sand with a now half-empty bottle of Malibu between them. The moon is shining above them and the way Liam keeps sending small, secretive smiles towards Zayn makes it the most romantic moment of Zayn’s life.

“Let’s play a game,” Liam says, clapping her hands together, grinning as she turns to face Zayn, legs crossed.

“Alright,” Zayn says; “What game?”

“Never Have I Ever?” Liam suggests and Zayn smiles, nodding. “I’ll start easy, yeah?”

“You wanna start?” Zayn says, watching Liam with careful eyes.

“Okay, I’ll start easy,” she says, playing with the cap of the bottle; “Never have I ever smoked a cigarette.”

Zayn reaches out for the bottle shrugging as she takes a sip, the coconut a constant taste on her tongue; “Never?”

“Nope,” Liam replies, raising her eyebrows as she does.

“You wanna?”

Liam shrugs but there’s a smile on her face and a fire in her eyes and Zayn grins, reaching into her back pocket, pulling out a packet of Marlboros and her pink lighter.

She slips a cigarette between her lips before dropping the packet on the ground. Cupping her hand around the end, she lights it.

The spark flares up and the flame illuminate her face in the darkness; She takes in a long drag before breathing it out, aiming the smoke towards the sea line. Zayn can feel Liam’s gaze on her and just grins as she grips the cigarette with two fingers, pulling it from her mouth. She hands it over to Liam, who holds it with wide-eyed wonder.

“Just breathe in,” Zayn says, watching Liam as she puts the cigarette to her mouth.

She looks gorgeous, she does, in this light with her sharp profile in the moonlight and her face half hidden in shadows. The spark at the end of the cigarette burns bright as she breathes in and Zayn almost laughs at the expression on her face after she breathes out the smoke.

“That’s disgusting,” she says, handing back the cigarette, “How do you like it?”

“I don’t,” is Zayn’s reply.

“Why - ”

“It’s just - it’s a habit I’m trying to break, really.”

“Okay,” Liam says, nodding her head watching as Zayn takes another drag; “Your turn.”

“Never have I ever,” she begins, thoughts flying through her head, “told anyone I like girls, too.”

Liam pulls the bottle towards her, smiling reassuringly at Zayn as she takes a swig before handing it over to her.

“What?”

“You kind of just did, babe,” Liam says, smiling.

“Oh,” Zayn says and as if her smile is contagious, Zayn feels her lips turn upwards. “I guess I did.”

“Never have I ever kissed a girl,” Liam says suddenly, her eyes dark.

Zayn takes another sip from the bottle, her eyes downcast as she thinks back to that time back at school behind the Assembly Hall.

“Never?” Zayn repeats, banishing the memory from her mind before looking up at Liam from under her eyelashes.

“Never,” Liam confirms, shrugging.

“Well,” Zayn says, leaning forward, “we can’t have that can we?”

Liam smiles bashfully before moving forward, “I guess not,” she says, her eyes dark as she presses forward.

Their lips touch and for a moment, Zayn flails, not knowing what the do because despite the alcohol confidence that’s flowing through her veins, she’s still unsure.

But then she’s pressing her hands to Liam’s knees gently as they move together. Their lips sliding against one another. Liam tastes of coconut and the slight sense of ash, she’s warmth and summer; hope and happiness.

Their tongues slide together and it’s so very soft and so very gentle. Sparks are flying everywhere; static in the air as if the single flame will ignite it all.

Then Zayn’s pulling back slightly and they smile shyly at each other before;

“Never have I ever been skinny dipping.”

Liam grins, grabbing the bottle that’s sat between them on the sand, taking the last drops before getting to her feet. “You haven’t met my best friend,” Liam says in a fond voice, “she’s kind of crazy.”

She’s a bit drunk but not in the out of control kind of way. She’s drunk but in the feeling on top of the world kind of way. She feels euphoric as she gets to her feet, sand flying everywhere as she slips off her trainers.

Zayn just giggles as she watches Liam pulls off her clothes until she’s only in her underwear. Matching black bra and knickers, complimenting her skin and Zayn feels all the air leave her chest.

“Coming?” Liam says with a cheeky grin on her face as she unclips her bra.

Zayn fumbles with the buttons on her shirt, the alcoholic daze causing her to become uncoordinated. Shrugging her shirts from her shoulders, she soon pulls off her shorts and knickers all in one before unclipping her own bra and letting it fall to the ground.

She runs towards the shoreline, feeling Liam’s heavy gaze on her body and she doesn’t think as she dives under the water, trying to wash away any insecurities. Zayn feels kind of invincible.

Blinking rapidly as she resurfaces, neck deep in the water, she opens her eyes and her gaze immediately falls on Liam. The water is freezing and this could have perhaps been one of the worst ideas ever.

But before she can say anything, before she can think about how the cold is seeping into her bones, Liam’s pressing up against her.

She presses their lips together in a fierce kiss, one hand going immediately to her hair; tangling in the wet strands, as the other goes to her hip, holding her in place. Zayn sighs into the kiss, opening her mouth under Liam’s and lets her press her tongue forward.

Tangling together, they move their lips to the rhythm of the crashing waves. There’s the taste of the coconut Malibu on their lips and their tongues mixed with the salt of the sea water. The water continues to move around them with the moonlight sparkling on the surface but neither of them take any notice.

Their cold bodies press even closer together and Zayn dares to one of her hands on Liam’s hips upwards. Trailing her hand boldly across Liam’s smooth skin, she reaches upward, trapping her arm between them as she cups Liam’s breast.

Her nipple is hard under her fingers; a mixture of the cold and arousal and Liam gasps into Zayn’s mouth, detaching their mouths as Zayn rubs the bud between her fingers.

Pressing a trail of kisses down the column of her neck, Zayn moans quietly, biting down softly on Liam’s collarbone as she moves both hand down so that they’re cupping her arse. Zayn untangles her arm just before Liam pulls them impossibly closer together, their boobs are pressed together and their legs are tangled under the water.

“Never have I ever,” Liam gasps as Zayn sucks a bruise into the skin at her collarbone, “Never have I ever had sex.”

“Neither,” Zayn murmurs, pulling back so that she can look into Liam’s eyes. Her eyes are shining and sparkling and her wet hair is framing her face and Zayn smiles up at her.

“You wanna?” Liam says, echoing Zayn’s earlier words.

And Zayn smiles softly, the answer in her eyes, before pressing her lips back to Liam’s. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the lust and desperation that’s burning through Zayn’s veins that encourages her, but Zayn trails a hand down so that it’s tracing the skin on Liam’s upper thigh.

“Zayn,” Liam moans, her voice high and breathless as she presses her face into the crook of Zayn’s neck; “Fuck.”

“Okay?” Zayn says, moving her hand higher.

“Okay,” she confirms, nodding, her breath coming out fast against Zayn’s skin.

There’s a burning in the pit of her stomach, the warmth spreading through her body and her heart is fluttering like mad as he presses her fingers up.

As she spreads her fingers through Liam’s folds, Liam moans in appreciation but the sound is drowned out by the crashing of the waves. Zayn keeps going, fumbling and unsure of what to do until Liam’s reaching a hand down and putting it on top of hers.

She moans as she directs Zayn’s hand to her clit. “Fuck,” Liam shivers, her hand cold against Zayn’s.

“You’re beautiful,” Zayn mumbles. And then Liam’s pressing her lips back against Zayn’s but this time she’s bringing her own hands up and cupping both of Zayn’s breasts. Gasping at the unexpected contact, she jerks her hand and they both groan in unison.

“Liam,” Zayn moans against her lips as she plays with her already hard nipples.

With a thumb pressed to Liam’s clit, Zayn presses her fingers further; slides them deeper.

“Can I?” Zayn murmurs, her voice high.

Liam just nods, kissing down Zayn’s neck, causing a shiver to spike down her body.

As she slides a finger inside, Liam bites down on Zayn’s neck as she muffles her moan. Zayn tries to focus on the girl in front of her as she moves her finger; trying to find those spots that make her body freeze up and her heart beat increase.

Despite the seawater washing away any moisture, she’s still so wet and so Zayn pulls her hand back slightly before sliding another finger inside.

“Oh god,” Liam murmurs in a low voice, moving her lips up so they meet Zayn’s in a fiery kiss. Zayn latches on, biting gently at Liam’s bottom lip and pulling back as she moves her fingers.

Scissoring them, Zayn keeps moving; pressing them everywhere until Liam’s gasping loudly.

“There,” she says into Zayn’s mouth, breathing the same air; “Fuck, Zayn. Keep going. ‘M close.”

Her breath is coming out in sharp pants as Zayn moves her fingers faster and harder. It’s the hottest thing she’s ever seen, watching this gorgeous girl come apart because of her. So she presses their lips back together as she feels Liam’s body start to clench up.

“Z,” Liam’s moaning, “Fuck, I’m gonna - ”

She let’s her words trail off into the dark night sky as her body tenses and she moans, her mouth is pressed against Zayn’s as she breathes harshly.

Zayn just watches with butterflies fluttering in her stomach, not stopping the movement of her fingers, amazed at the girl in front of her. She doesn’t stop moving until Liam’s stopped breathing so rapidly and she opens her eyes with blown pupils.

“Li,” Zayn mumbles as she gently pulls her fingers out, letting the sea wash away all the evidence.

But Liam’s barely breathing as she presses her own fingers down, Zayn’s stomach jumping at the touch.

It’s like her body is on fire. There are sparks flying at every point of contact and her breath hitches as Liam’s fingers stop just above her clit. Teasing.

“Let me eat you out,” Liam whispers into Zayn’s ear, who closes her eyes and let’s her head fall onto Liam’s shoulder.

“Fuck,” Zayn moans out breathlessly, nodding.

And then Liam’s pulling back and the cold hits at full-force, laughing. “Come on, then,” she says, grabbing Zayn’s hand, and pulling her towards the shore.

They race to their clothes, water splashing everywhere, and despite the cold and the shivers that are now wracking Zayn’s body, she doesn’t care. Euphoric, she thinks again, she feels euphoric as their laughter echoes around the empty beach.

 

**three.**

There’s sand between her toes and her hair is flowing down past her shoulders, curling as it dries in the strong portuguese sun. She sits on her towel, propping herself up by her elbows so she can looks across the ocean in front of her; the crystal blue waves crashing in a soft rhythm.

Her aviators are perched on the bridge of her nose and it’s so very quiet as Zayn closes her eyes softly and tilts her head back, basking in the heat. She quirks her lips up in a small smile, her heart fluttering in her chest as she waits.

The minutes drag and Zayn feels a certain type of serenity wash over her, feels as if she could stay here for hours and hours - until the sun goes down and the stars come out.

But then there’s a shadow crossing her and her eyes flicker open just as someone settles down in her lap; straddling her hips. It’s skin on skin and the soft smell of suncream; it’s warmth and short giggles and that sharp trembling feeling in her stomach. It’s -

“Liam,” she breathes, stretching her legs out over the delicate sand.

“Hi, babe,” Liam says with a small smile as she pulls all of her hair over to one shoulder at the same time Zayn lifts her sunglasses to sit in her hair. Then she’s leaning down and pressing her own lips to Zayn’s in a short peck. “We don’t have long before they come looking.”

Zayn presses forward in reply, kissing her with a gentle urgency; their lips move together and it’s like time slows down - if only for them. Liam tangles a hand in Zayn’s damp hair, cradling the back of her head as she urges Zayn to lay down.

She moves from her elbows, their mouths barely pulling apart as they fall backwards onto the towel. Zayn lifts her hands, resting them on the silky skin of Liam’s hip, her thumb gently caressing the skin there.

Liam catches her teeth on Zayn’s lip, pulling it back slightly and Zayn lets her mouth fall open gently - lets Liam press her tongue to hers; kissing, kissing and kissing until they can barely breathe. Zayn her heartbeat speeding up as Liam drags a hand down her bare stomach, catching at belly button piercing, causing a gasp to be pulled from her lips.

“So gorgeous,” Liam mutters against her lips, pulling back slightly. Her lips are kiss-bitten red and her eyes glazed over as she smiles lazily at the girl underneath her.

Zayn just smiles, before tangling a hand in Liam’s head, pulling her back to her own lips; “Don’t stop,” she murmurs against her lips; “Never stop.”

“As if I could resist,” Liam replies, smiling against Zayn’s lips before pressing a kiss to her lips.

The sun is beating down on them, their bodies starting to become slick with sweat but neither of them care as they move together on the empty beach with heavy breathing and tangled tongues.

There’s a shout somewhere along the shore and they spring apart with wide eyes.

“We should - ” Zayn begins through her harsh breaths; “We should find our families.”

“Probably - yeah,” Liam says.

Zayn sighs, let’s her hand fall away as Liam sits up and gets to her feet. She hesitates for a moment before grinning over her shoulder; “Last one in the pool gets dunked.”

Grinning, Zayn scrambles to her feet, grabbing her towel as she chases after Liam, who’s kicking up sand behind her as she runs on bare feet.

And maybe Zayn lets her win because maybe, just maybe, she just wants another excuse to have Liam’s hands all over her body.

 

**four.**

She’s sitting in between Liam’s legs as she pulls at her hair, twisting it into complicated knots. There’s a happy feeling in the pit of her stomach as she’s surrounded by her family - her sisters beside her and Liam’s on the other side; exchanging stories and tales.

They’re laughing under the scorchingly hot portuguese sun with their feet dipped into the pool. Beats of sweat are dripping down their bodies but none of them care, not as they talk about ex-boyfriends and ex-friends and not as they laugh themselves silly to embarrassing stories.

And here, with Liam behind her, playing and fiddling with her hair with a practiced ease, Zayn smiles at the ground, kicking her feet in the water, splashing the water upwards.

Zayn wonders if she should feel like home, here, in a foreign country away from everything she’s ever known. But then again, she supposes, smiling as Liam finishes off the plait that’s snaking down her back, home is where the heart is.

 

**five.**

They spend a lot of time at the beach, trading lazy kisses when their families aren’t around. Giggling and teasing and sharing secrets when they are. They often find themselves walking with their arms linked down the shore, kicking up sand and water as they go.

Nights like tonight, when there’s a storm brewing in the distance and their skirts are flying around their legs are Zayn’s favourite.

As they’re walking down the beach with laughter on their lips and smiles in their eyes, it’s then that the rain starts to fall in earnest. With the sea a dark, angry grey, the clouds above let the water fall. When the first few heavy drops of water hit their bodies, they squeal and giggle, not moving from their spot.

Zayn throws her head back in a laugh, her arms outstretched as she spins in a circle. Liam rocks back on her heels, her hair sticking to her forehead as the water drips from the ends, a bright smile on her face.

The sand is sticking to their feet and their dresses are getting dirty but Zayn just pulls Liam by the hands, leading her in a dance to a tune neither of them can hear. Their smiles are bright, a contrast against the weather surrounding them.

As if the strong winds are pushing against them, they dancing along the shoreline, letting the waves crash at their feet. The hem of Liam’s dress is sure to smell of sea salt in the morning and Zayn’s hair is bound to be a matted knot, but they don’t care.

Because despite the weather and despite the fact that this is Zayn’s slice of heaven away from reality, this is who Zayn wants to be. She wants to feel this comfortable in her own skin every day and she wants to be pulled along by this precious, gorgeous girl in front of her. And she wants to push back in all the ways she can.

She’s here in one of her best dresses absolutely soaking wet as she dances in the rain. In the sticky sand and harsh winds, her laugh is unrestrained and full of joy.

And then Liam’s hands are on her waist, pulling her closer and Zayn just lets her. Lets herself be pulled closer until their foreheads touching and Zayn feels stomach swoop and her breath hitch. Liam’s dark, long eyelashes are clinging together from the rain and there’s drops of rainwater falling from her hair.

“You’re so beautiful,” Zayn says, her voice a whisper that can barely be heard over the rushing of the wind and the harsh crashing of the waves by the feet - water spraying around them everywhere.

Liam blushes, the colour faint on her cheeks and smiles a small, secretive smile and Zayn doesn’t want to let her go - she wants to learn everything about this girl.

She wants to fall in love with her completely, fully immersed as if underwater. She wants to drown in her; in her secrets, in her stories, in her touch and her kisses.

But Zayn supposes if this is all she can get, she’s going to take it.

  


**(one).**

“I’m gonna miss you, you know?” Liam says from where she’s sprawled across the chair on Zayn’s balcony.

“Yeah?” Zayn replies, a sad smile on her face as she sits on Liam’s lap.

“Yeah,” Liam says, “I really am.”

“We can - I can add you on Facebook. We can text and stuff,” Zayn says, desperately trying to grasp onto strings, clawing at anything that could bring her above surface.

“It’s not the same though,” Liam sighs, brushing a hand through Zayn’s long, tangled curls. “Is it?”

And there’s a hesitance in her voice that Zayn’s unaccustomed to, a small waver, a small tinge that pings at Zayn’s heartstrings. “I guess not,” Zayn sighs, pressing her lips against Liam’s slowly and softly.

“I just - ” Zayn begins, trying not to let the tears well up in her eyes; “I really, really wish we could - I wish we could be something.”

(I wish I could fall in love with you.)

Liam smiles sadly, brushing away a tear that escapes; the single tear that falls from her dark lashes; “We are something,” Liam says, her voice soft; “We are.”

Liam looks up at her with stars in her eyes, her eyes wide and open and vulnerable. It’s then that Zayn feels herself drop.

She falls fast; headfirst with barely a thought about hitting the bottom.

It’s on a Tuesday that Zayn feels that sense of euphoria; the sense of feeling infinite, as if there’s nothing wrong with the world. It’s a Tuesday that she looks into those dark, chocolate brown eyes and smiles as she traces those lips with the pad of her thumb. It’s on a Tuesday that she falls in love.

It’s on a Tuesday that she leaves Liam Payne.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed it!!! definitely thinking of writing a lourry sequel! i'm on tumblr [here!](http://www.amemorymaze.tumblr.com)


End file.
